Humans Being

To Do or Not To Do

Last summer, I went on vacation with my family to Hawaii. For the first time in fourteen years, my wife and I had five days to ourselves while the kids attended an overnight camp on the island. Which meant that we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. And we did a lot of stuff. But luckily, we also managed to use some of this time to do… nothing. I mean literally nothing. For at least part of each day, we deliberately stopped doing anything and instead focused on simply being.

Humans understand the necessity of periodic breaks. We all require the appropriate work/rest ratio regardless of the activity. For every workout, you need a recovery period. Weekends and holidays offer an essential respite from our jobs. However, as a society, we've become increasingly uncomfortable with the idea of actual “downtime.” So we fill up whatever free moments we might have with more doing. I was reminded of this fact last week during spring break. It wasn’t enough just to be on vacation. We required a schedule of things to accomplish - a way to measure the success of our time off.

We come by such a mindset honestly. The mantra of “do more” dominates advertising and social media nowadays. All I have to do is scroll through my Instagram feed, and I repeatedly hear the same basic message:

Get up earlier, go to bed later, and in between, work harder than everyone else. If you’ve run out of stuff to do, you’re just being lazy. Successful people (whatever that means) never stop. The quality of your life will be appraised based on how much you’ve done.

I’m not knocking hard work or the idea that you have to stop making excuses and push through barriers at times. If you want something in life, you absolutely must be willing to put in the effort to get it. But that work is only valuable when directed towards a goal. Anything extra or extraneous is wasteful. Not to mention, the more you do, the less efficient you often become.

But most importantly, this incessant “do more” drumbeat is simply not the solution for every problem we face. If you are a veteran, first responder, or single mother with two jobs, I don’t think your issue is a lack of grit. And regardless of who you are, buying into this “work harder” narrative as a panacea comes with mental side effects.

To start, we have developed a collective guilt complex regarding any recess from persistent physical activity. As soon as life deals us a break, an autonomic internal dialogue has become programmed to kick in, “I can’t sit here and do NOTHING. Other people are out there doing things. I’ve got to do things too!” Or as we reflect on the day, “Why didn’t I do more today? I could have worked harder. Tomorrow I’m doing more for sure…” And the cycle repeats itself ad infinitum.

But what’s more sinister is our addiction to mental activity as a way to ensure our brains are constantly doing as well. And since we are tethered to the internet 24/7 via a digital leash we call a phone, we can always get our fix. As soon as our attention isn’t captured externally, the Pavlovian response is to pull out our mobile devices. Screen-staring is the default “to-do” when left with no other options. Even when we are technically doing something else like standing in line, driving, or sitting on the toilet, we must give our minds input via technology.

The consequence is that we have lost the ability to be. Being is the opposite of doing. It’s stripping away all distractions (including the ones in your own head) and tapping into the natural state of your mind at rest. It’s mental recovery while awake. And it’s just as critical as physical rest. In his book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen Covey calls this concept “sharpening the saw.” Eventually, any saw will cut less wood because it gets duller the more you use it, unless you stop and sharpen it regularly. In this case, the saw is you. Or more specifically, your mind. And just like a saw, it can get worn down. But you can sharpen it by being.

So let’s trade some of the time we are doing to start being. And not just while on vacation, but during our typical day. The tricky part is figuring out how to not turn being into another thing to do — to resist adding it to a list or thinking of it as another accomplishment. Well, how do you do (or not do) that?

Here’s what I might suggest as a starting point… begin your day by doing nothing. I used to get up, suck down some coffee, and run out to the gym without a moment to spare. So many people do (and preach) the same thing. I recommend the opposite approach. I now simply sit for 10-15 minutes first thing with zero expectation of getting anything done. Sometimes this becomes meditation, but I have no agenda to make it so. I’m just letting my mind do whatever it wants. And seeing if I can notice what that feels like.

Give it a try. And then go back to this practice throughout the day. Don’t put it on your calendar. Make it an exercise you draw upon when you feel it’s necessary, or the mood strikes you — in between meetings or during some other transition period. While sitting at your desk or on the couch, pause, set a timer for 5-10 minutes, close your eyes, and be. You've accomplished everything if you’ve accomplished nothing.

I was reminded recently that the mind at rest has an inherent radiance. You can experience this innately luminous condition by remembering that we are human beings, not human doings, and doing (or more accurately, not doing) something about it. Society at large could benefit from more humans being and fewer humans doing at times. Nike tells us to “just do it.” But if we are going to work smarter in addition to working harder, there are moments to “just be” as well.

To do or not to do. That is the question.

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